1. You constantly worry about where you’re going to park.2. When you do find a parking space, somewhere in the dark lonely corners of the car park, miles from everyone else.. you will return to find someone parked 4″ off the driver’s door.
3. Anytime you are away from your car you worry about it.
4. You have to put up with people constantly asking you to rev the nuts off it.
5. You have to endure the scornful looks and mutterings of old folk if you do rev the nuts off it.
6. You get frustrated that you can’t boot if everywhere you go for fear of speedbumps, police & more disapproving old people.
7. Your mates think you’re a dick when you don’t let any of them drive it.
8. You look like the worlds biggest dick if you ever stall it at the lights.
9. You look like a poser in the petrol station when you’re ‘filling her up’.
10. You look like a poser when you stick the shades on or turn the choons up.
11. You have to endure the stress of reverse parking while everyone is watching and praying you’ll cock it up.
12. You feel like a dick when someone whips out their phone and decides they want a photo or video of your car while you’re sat there at the lights. “Do I smile? Do I give them the thumbs up? Do I ignore them?” Then you have to suffer the embarrassment as said ‘happy snapper’ walks away calling you a dick.
13. If you’re under 40 everyone thinks you’re a footballer or a lottery winner.
14. If you’re over 40 everyone thinks you are going through some sort of crisis.
15. You feel like a loser when that 21 yr old blonde in the tiny dress and heels wafts by without even batting an eye at you or the car.
16. You get a sore neck from trying to catch the reflection of the car in every mildly reflective surface.
27. You can’t put photos of it on Facebook/Twitter cos everyone thinks you’re just showing off.18. When a warning light pops up on the dash, you sh!t your pants.
19. Come service time… you sh!t your pants.
20. You feel you are doing the car an injustice if sticking to the speed limits.
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